For women, discussion about ageing tends to focus on reversing the clock, turning back time, and stopping ageing in its tracks.
This felt more prominent than ever during the 2025 awards season because while Demi Moore was applauded (and awarded) for her role in The Substance, much of the narrative surrounding her was about how amazing she looks "for her age" – ironic, given the subject matter of the film she is being praised for.
Women's health advocate Lauren M. Darisse from The HRT Club, laments this discourse around women in midlife and beyond, noting that by zeroing in on appearance – even when praising stars such as Demi – we're further highlighting that ageing is a bad thing.
"Rather than celebrating the elegance, experience and confidence in our skin, women are led to believe that we should instead focus on hiding the changes that come with it," says Lauren, founder of The HRT Club.
"This narrative can be all-consuming. When the 'average' (whatever that means) woman sees knockouts such as actors Salma Hayek and Demi Moore critiqued or strangely praised for daring to arrive at an awards show with a few grey hairs, it's easy to get swept up in the notion that women inherently become less desirable as we age. It is physically and emotionally draining, and that is really unfortunate."
"It's not just women's looks that are critiqued as we age. Our role in the workplace sees us hit with double standards too", notes Lauren. "In the workplace, an older man has a certain gravitas, while a woman of the same age is viewed as past her prime. On top of that, in relationships people don't bat an eye when an older man dates a younger woman… but the other way around? She is labelled desperate.
"I've seen women face discrimination due to their age more often than I care to admit," Lauren says. "I have seen older women who spoke out in meetings described as combative, aggressive, even hormonal. It isn't easy to stand out in a crowd and challenge the status quo, but the more we start to do this, the more the paradigm will shift. It all comes back to creating a (sometimes uncomfortable) dialogue.
"We need to stop the stigma around ageing right now," Lauren urges. "We are all getting older and we deserve to be seen for the amazing, complex and gorgeous creatures we are. Let's cut through the historically male-dominated idealism and demand a narrative change."
In her thirties, Lauren is witnessing the turn in the tide for women the generation older than her – and it's inspirational.
"I am personally looking forward to the empowerment that comes with midlife. So many of my younger years were focused on caring what other people thought, feeling insecure, and not yet fully appreciating who I was.
"Now, as I approach midlife, I am more secure in my body, mind, and worth. I look forward to the opportunity to continue to age in this body – it is a gift I consider a powerful rebirth – not something to be feared and hidden. Midlife won't signal the end of my fabulous era – it's the beginning!"
